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It seems that every year(sometimes a few times a year) I hit a wall.

A giant “how in the world do I do this parenting, taking care of the house, being a great wife, and serve the Lord joyfully” wall.

In the early days of parenting, Matt would send me off to a movie with a friend.

What great fun!

For those two hours.

But then I came home to the same life with the same attitude.

With the Lord’s grace, I now try to spend atleast part of my renewal time- renewing. Scaling the wall usually involves prayer, good parenting resources, and wiser, older friends(chocolate still included).

It’s amazing to me how making little changes in our routine, our parenting choices, and my heart, can keep that wall buried for another season.

I hit one of those of those walls last week(I think this one was made of laundry bricks and spit up glue).  Here are a few things that have been helping out our house.

Stop the Fighting

With multiple children in the house, it might be a given that I spend a large chunk of time settling fights.

“Mommy, Jellyfish took my..”

“Hey, I was sitting there first.”

Well, you know what it sounds like.  Passed, “Who had it first…”, I was often at a loss and just wanted peace!

This chart has been instrumental in teaching me and my children the biblical path to work through fighting.  We studied the chart (and short booklet) and now I can send the 8 year old to the chart when she comes toward me with “Mooommmmy…..”. And I can walk with my 4 and 6 year old to the chart and guide them down the same path.  Each day I am less involved in the problems and they are growing in character.

Attitude Adjustments(for all of us)

This book has refreshed my eye on biblical parenting and reminded me of the reasons we’re teaching our children about obedience and respect and love.  After months of being sick and and not sleeping and then taking care of a newborn, my perspective was off-kilter.  Too quick to say “sorry he’s just tired” when the boy was falling on floor and being disrespectful.  Continually sending the children to in-effective time-outs, ignoring the lack of result.  Finding myself quick to get frustrated and at the same time slow to expect obedience.  Through her real life examples, understanding of scripture and her practical advice, I feel more prepared for the days challenges. And her challenge is to thank the Lord for each opportunity to point my children toward the Lord. To reproof and discipline because I love my kids to much not to.

The house management is another side of the wall….maybe more on that tomorrow…

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I think you’ll be able to tell the type of day it’s been by the the following list:

Things I Wish I Never Had to Say Again (but will probably say again tomorrow)

1 Do that in the bathroom
2 Don’t pick your nose
3 Can you talk to your brother in a different way please?
4 Get a towel and clean it up
5 Don’t poke your baby sister in the face
6 I’m in the bathroom, can this question wait?
7 If we have any more towels left, get one and clean it up
8 Eat your lunch
9 Do you see spit up down the back of my shirt? Here wipe it up.
10 I said don’t pick your nose(or atleast see #1)

I remember being the child and having the same things repeated to me over and over. ‘Don’t crack your knuckles.”  I try to think about what words I’m using and whether they really need to be said.  But in the end, I buckle and say the words on my tongue and see my children shrug my words off.  Maybe I should try singing them like opera? Atleast it would get their attention.

As look back over this list, it seems wrong to leave this as a summary of my day.People ask me how things are going and there just isn’t one word that fits an entire hour, much less a day, or a week.  We’re going moment by moment, taking the good with the bad, the smooth and the messy, the frustrating and the miracles.

Top Moments of the Day that Make the Above List Worth It

1 Watching 3 kiddos sit out the 95 degree weather waiting for the ice cream truck
2 The Boy runs up to me with a picture he’s drawn and says “can I bring it and show it to my teacher(swim teacher that is)”
3 Mookie doing the butterfly stroke down the lane after 5 weeks of swim lessons, which began with a refusal to go to the deep end.  She’s grown in skill and character.
4 Laying next to Sparkles and we gaze at each other, both smiling, both thinking the other is terrific
5 Hearing “Yes Ma’m” more often than not
6 Eating good fresh dinner outside
7 Summer baby clothes which makes rubbing sweet baby skin with rolls, easy
8 This quiet moment
9 Listening to Sparkles “talk” back to her 3 big siblings as they talk to her
10 Finished a good book

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Update: We emailed professor Steve Murphree at Belmost University and this is what he said “The insect in question is a species of leaf-footed bug (Hemiptera: Coreidae) and maybe in the genus Acanthocephala.  http://bugguide.net/node/view/164566 .  These bugs are predators of other insects so good ones to have around.  They would only bite a person if forced to do so.  The only species in this family that is a pest is the squash bug.”

Some friends and I were comparing creepy critter stories the other night.  

We each had a different tolerance level for spiders, snakes, and skinks(in our house, that is).

But what about this handsome creature?  The girls and I came home to find this fascinating bug on our door.  It was the size of my thumb! We haven’t figured out what it is yet, but I’ll post back again if we do.

Until then, what’s your most memorable creature to close for comfort?

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note: We’ve decided from here on out to give the kids “stage names” for the blog. Friends and family should be able to figure out who is who, but you can go to the ‘about’ page to know more about each of the kids.

 

It was a straight forward assignment.

“I have to write the whole poem?!” Mookie exclaimed.

“Yes.”

“And I have to memorize it?” she looked at me with eyes that said “Mommy, are you nuts?”

“And,” I added, “You get to perform it for Daddy when you’re ready,” trying to  appeal to her theatrical side.

She slumped.  She sighed.  She looked at me again waiting for sympathy to spread over my face.

“Okay, get to it.”

She did find, when she sat snuggled up with me as I nursed Sparkles, that she could tolerate the copywork.  Even though she came to  enjoy the cozy moments on the couch each day, I still had to remind her to get her work done.

On the day of the performance, the sun rose upon a frazzled mom.  Chores were a chore, baby girl wasn’t napping, and we were on a long detour to get to the day’s school work.

“Mommy, I have to work on my poem!” Mookie announced over the sound of the baby and my voice shouting out chores that still weren’t done.

‘What poem?” 

“Mommy! I have to do it for Daddy tonight”

“Oh right, go work on it and let me know when you’re ready to show me.”

Twenty minutes later, in a calmer moment, she called me back for a preview. Afterward, I gave her some tips on diction and how to calm her nervous body.

“Also, tell us the poem the way you like to hear stories.  Let us know something exciting is happening.  Picture yourself as a fairy in your head, awed by each new season.”

She looked at me.  Then asked me to leave.

Thirty minutes later I was called back again. She’d added a British accent and a lot more expression.

A few hours passed as my mind turned to other tasks of the day.

As Daddy’s arrival drew near, I pulled her sister aside and gave her a little pep talk about being supportive and focusing on Mookie during her recitation(since she had heard the practicing all week, I worried she might be lacking in enthusisasm when the real time came).  Then she surprised me.

With a playful smile she said, “I’m not a part of audience, I’ll be doing something else, just wait and see.”

I was stumped.  Then I started noticing some things. The Boy was missing. Sounds from the rehearsal room told me he was with the actress.  

“Do you know where my flashlight is?  And do I have some dark clothes, like that might blend into darkness?” Jelly Bean asked.

The Boy came out holding pink gloves, “Help.”

Mookie, in the hours I had gotten busy, had recruited stagehands!  For the next hour, the actress, the director, and the spotlight technician busied themselves with preparation.  There was a stage to be set, lighting to be adjusted, proper backstage attire to found.  Hair to be fixed, costumes to be approved, and of course a few more run throughs.

Finally, when the black cloth was positioned for a stage, and the lightning was just so, the performance began.

With a 4 year old announcer and director, a 6 year old operating the spotlight, and an 8 year old giving the performance of a lifetime, you can imagine it was quite a show.

Later that night, thinking back on the “simple assignment”, I loved how it had turned into to something that so suited the individual talents of each of the kids. And how it had turned in to a family affair.

Afterward, Mookie and I sat on the couch together.  ”At first when you told me I had to memorize a poem I thought ‘Boring’ but then this whole thing turned into real theater!”

And so it was.

A simple assignment.  With a lot of heart.

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