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The subject of homeschooling can really stir the hornet’s nest when it pops up in conversation.  The homeschool moms, understandably, have chosen their path for very specfic reasons and are living them out daily with a heavy dose of blessing and trial and they are going to talk about it with passion.  The public and private schools moms, their own reasons and journey firmly planted, are immediately put on defense and feel called in to defend their own very personal choice for their children, and stand up for their mama-hood. All in all, despite my usual stance of “this is what’s good for us, but it’s a choice for each family” I’ve experienced a few stings and been tempted, out of exasperation, to give a few myself.

We can talk about the hot topics-socialization, education of the teachers versus parents, moral and spiritual foundations, but I only find myself getting really worked up when I feel that homeschooling is attacked because it’s a deviation from generation upon generation of “this is how we do it”.  New=makes people uncomfortable= bad.  Most of my friends have considered and researched(much more than more myself I might add) the choices available for their child’s education.  They’ve prayed and discussed, finalized their stand, and walked forward with it.  But there is the group that seems to go with public or private because it’s what’s done.

I watched a video today that I had to bring to my blog.  Set aside the opposing teams and listen. It’s a video to make you think.  And it’s for you, the homeschool mom, to consider carefully your purpose and methods for the precious time you have with your children.  And it’s for you, public and private school mom, so that you can consider what you hope your child will gain from the 13 or so years in the school system. How are you going to fight for that education model to help your children and their friends become more of who they are supposed to be, find their passions and talents, which will carry them through life not just through the successful admission into a college.  Whether you are at home or at school, do you feel like it’s a daily fight for your child to have the freedom to be him or herself, are they not fitting into your mold or the school system’s mold?  Maybe the mold needs to be broken and refitted for each individual child.  This is not a homeschool speaker encouraging people to homeschool.  It’s a well-educated, out of the box visionary, asking all of us not to accept the “always done it that way” just because it’s easier.  A change in our education goals is necessary across all gaps.

If you have 17 minutes, grab some coffee and a seat.

Click over to this blog to find the video.

You’re welcome to share your thoughts in the comments, but please keep respect and kindness in mind.  I’m not hoping to change minds, just to engage them.

If you first found me while following my homeschool posts, I’ve got great news for you.  I’ve added a separate brand new blog all about our homeschool life. Abundant Life will remain a place to reflect, celebrate, gripe, and encourage about all aspects of life.  But if you want to get into the specifics of homeschooling with a family of 6, head over here.

Just like the written word or a photograph, my blog only reveals a partial truth.

For example, I can show you this photograph of my stolen date out with Jellybean saturday morning and you might think “what a sweet relationship they have”, but today you would see the same daughter and I both with tears in our eyes as we worked through a tough start to our morning.

I could show you this photo of  a craft we did today and you might think “they’re so artsy and fun, I want to do school at their house” but it would also mask that I woke up this morning wishing hard that I could stay curled up in the covers and call in my sick day(for the next month).  And that this project, though it will make a fun sign, was a desperate attempt to continue on with school-like activities today without trying to balance teaching all of the children separately(while keeping Sparkles happy).

And when I show you this priceless picture of Sparkles, you might turn to your friend and say “what a beautiful family they have! Aren’t they blessed?” And your friend would nod in agreement as would I if I were sitting with you, because what could be more true?  But interlocked with that truth is how incredibly torn I’ve felt every day by my growing, changing family.  I spend what I consider way too much time wishing that Sparkles was still the sleepy baby on my chest rather than the one exploring our carpet with her mouth.  She wants to be anywhere but in my lap, and I think “really, are we already to that point?”. I don’t mean that light-hearted, because I have this desire to fight time, even though I know I would lose. I can’t look at one of my kids and feel simply glad they’re right where they are in life.  Each day passes with the conviction that I need to accept the seasons of my life(and my children’s).

Here’s the final picture for the day.  This tree, which last week was radiant with it’s warm, orange cloak, is now entering the bleaker season of the year.  If this was the only picture I ever saw of this tree, I would be missing a greater truth. It’s hopeful green buds, the laughter of children playing around it in the summer heat, and then snow-covered in solitude, all of these together make up the full life of this tree.  This picture doesn’t make the other seasons any less true.

And with my life, as I struggle to see the greater truth, look with me at all sides. This side when laughing teeters on the edge of crying, hearts bloom and then darken, time selfishly moves on, and expectations grow weighty.  I’m claiming that this is not the only truth and in the end, will make the other side all the more illuminated.

I can feel it, I’m getting in planning mode.  Re-organzing the school room in my head, printing off sheets for my planner, finalizing curriculum choices for the fall.

One area that I’m still undecided is science.  At the end of last year we started Apologia, which has it’s on set of pros and cons.  This year I’ve got my eye on Noeo Science and just today learned about these Unit Nature Studies.  Right now Shining Dawn Books is hosting a contest, maybe you or I will get to try out their products free!  If not, they still look more than worth the money.

It’s saturday morning at our house and the children are busy.

“Mookie, get the abacus,” Jellybean calls across the house.

“I’ve already got it.  Shh, I’m adding my minutes.”

“How many do you have?”

“Shh, I don’t know yet.  When’s browsing time?”

“Daddy says it’s in ten minutes.  Are you adding The Boy’s too?”

“He has two hours, which means a dollar and 20 cents, but maybe he has some more in his envelope.”

“I wonder if they’re going to raise the prices this week,” wonders Jellyfish while she waits for the abacus.

“I read 7 hours this week which means I have  four dollars and twenty cents.  If I read a little longer after browsing time, I can get two chapter books.”

“Okay, give me the abacus, please, so I can do mine.”

A few minutes later The Bookworm bookstore, conveniently located in the family schoolroom, is open for browsing.

Mookie, Jellyfish, and The Boy practically hop into the room, anxious to see what new books have arrived.  A few minutes of studied silence, broken by a squeal or two and finally a shout.

“I’m getting this one!” they yell at the same time, though thankfully each holding a different book.

Mr. Darcy announces the end of browsing time,”Okay, figure out how much more time you need to read this afternoon before the bookstore opens for business. Browsing time is over.”

After chores they  happily head off to read away the minutes they need to have enough money to buy their new books. Well, the 4 year old doesn’t actually do that, since his reading time is led by mom and dad.  Really, he gets out some cars.

A few hours later 3 contented children leave The Bookworm, looking forward to the week ahead, brand new books in hand.

This is a little peek into Saturdays at our house this summer.  Last year we started an incentive to build upon the library’s summer reading program, and this year we’ve tweaked it to a rousing success.

Here’s a summary:

What: Our family summer reading program

When: throughout the summer months off from school

Who: our three older children (though Mr. Darcy and I wish someone would do this for us)

Why: This is our family’s answer to the question “How do we keep our kids engaged in reading and learning even during our time off school.”  Last year we did a similiar incentive except that they earned real money and we took them to Borders Books at the end of the summer.  Though full of excitement, this part of the incentive was miserable for all of us. After an hour of searching through huge bookshelves, they didn’t know what book they wanted and we had to say no to a lot of choices for either poor quality or poor content.  This summer we know they are choosing great books and the selection is displayed in a much easier format for them.

How: Each week the children record how many minutes they’ve read per day. At the end of the week they add up their minutes and for every minute they earn one Bookworm penny (play money). After browsing time, they can decide if they want to read a little more during the day to make sure they have enough for the desired books. Later in the afternoon they make their purchases and save any leftover change for next week’s store. Minutes start again at zero after the afternoon bookstore.

Where: We purchased a large number of chapter books, smaller chapter books, readers, and picture books and set them out for display in the schoolroom.

From my point of view this is a win-win situation. The children read willingly, their skills improve, they are rewarded with books (not candy or movies). They read those books, their skills grow further, and in turn they get more books. A pretty terrific cycle. And if it wouldn’t take us to the poorhouse, we’d continue the bookstore through the school year.

Note: The summer bookstore has also worked their math skills: figuring out the amount of minutes each day, adding the minutes for the week, and converting the minutes into dollars and cents.

I may have mentioned various reasons that prompted our life-changing decision to homeschool.  Maybe I said “We want our kids to love learning.” “We want to give them a good foundation in the Lord along with their academic studies.” “We want to cultivate family and grow the character in our children.”  After this week I’ve discovered that although these reasons seem perfectly sensible and earnest, there may be a reason that outweighs all of the others.  This one sounds less impressive and yet carries the burden of truth.

I don’t like to get up in the morning.

We’re finishing up a week of vacation bible school.  Five days of getting clothes set the night before, scooting everyone out of the beautiful summer sun and ending all evening frolics so that they can get enough sleep. Then I make sure there’s breakfast ready to go, a diaper bag packed, and my own clothes picked out. That’s the night before.  The morning begins the torturous job of rising from the warm sheets and leaving the silky smooth baby snuggling nearby. My feet hit the floor and I start barking orders.

“Everyone up, it’s time for breakfast.

No, you can’t get up in a few minutes.

No, you can’t stop at the couch and lay back down.

No, you can’t enjoy your food, you’ve got five minutes!

There will be no giggling or having fun.

Now go get dressed.

No, you don’t need help.

Yes, you do have to brush your teeth.

Nevermind, forget any other chores, we’ve got to get in the car.

Go, go, go.

Wait, we forgot the baby.

Now, we’re ready.”

And then at 2 minute intervals from the children:

“Are we going to be late?”

And so we finally depart the house, leaving thirty minutes before we would normally just be sitting down for breakfast. Maybe we would be making some oatmeal on the stove with fresh blueberries.  The first person done would jump in my lap.  We’d spend the next 20 minutes reading Bible stories and our daily devotion.  After a brief prayer, we’d split off in our different directions to start morning chores.  The baby would be snuggled, the children rested, and mom much less grumpy!!!

Although I write some of this with tongue and cheek, I do believe that our choices fit our family.  The idea of keeping that hurried routine night after night and day after day, not to mention the time driving in the car, makes me realize I take for granted our mornings.  We ease into the day, flow in and out of learning academics with chores, reading, imagining, snuggling, and resting.  Also playing, cooking, working through struggles, and helping out friends.  Life intertwined with learning and we’re not late for anything.  It’s all right here.

It would be misleading to say that every morning and the day following proceed without wrinkles simply because we don’t have to set our alarm clock.  But the extra moments in bed with snuggly kids and the chance of actually getting to eat breakfast at my home are moving the reason to the top of the list.

Update: We emailed professor Steve Murphree at Belmost University and this is what he said “The insect in question is a species of leaf-footed bug (Hemiptera: Coreidae) and maybe in the genus Acanthocephala.  http://bugguide.net/node/view/164566 .  These bugs are predators of other insects so good ones to have around.  They would only bite a person if forced to do so.  The only species in this family that is a pest is the squash bug.”

Some friends and I were comparing creepy critter stories the other night.  

We each had a different tolerance level for spiders, snakes, and skinks(in our house, that is).

But what about this handsome creature?  The girls and I came home to find this fascinating bug on our door.  It was the size of my thumb! We haven’t figured out what it is yet, but I’ll post back again if we do.

Until then, what’s your most memorable creature to close for comfort?

note: We’ve decided from here on out to give the kids “stage names” for the blog. Friends and family should be able to figure out who is who, but you can go to the ‘about’ page to know more about each of the kids.

It was a straight forward assignment.

“I have to write the whole poem?!” Mookie exclaimed.

“Yes.”

“And I have to memorize it?” she looked at me with eyes that said “Mommy, are you nuts?”

“And,” I added, “You get to perform it for Daddy when you’re ready,” trying to  appeal to her theatrical side.

She slumped.  She sighed.  She looked at me again waiting for sympathy to spread over my face.

“Okay, get to it.”

She did find, when she sat snuggled up with me as I nursed Sparkles, that she could tolerate the copywork.  Even though she came to  enjoy the cozy moments on the couch each day, I still had to remind her to get her work done.

On the day of the performance, the sun rose upon a frazzled mom.  Chores were a chore, baby girl wasn’t napping, and we were on a long detour to get to the day’s school work.

“Mommy, I have to work on my poem!” Mookie announced over the sound of the baby and my voice shouting out chores that still weren’t done.

‘What poem?” 

“Mommy! I have to do it for Daddy tonight”

“Oh right, go work on it and let me know when you’re ready to show me.”

Twenty minutes later, in a calmer moment, she called me back for a preview. Afterward, I gave her some tips on diction and how to calm her nervous body.

“Also, tell us the poem the way you like to hear stories.  Let us know something exciting is happening.  Picture yourself as a fairy in your head, awed by each new season.”

She looked at me.  Then asked me to leave.

Thirty minutes later I was called back again. She’d added a British accent and a lot more expression.

A few hours passed as my mind turned to other tasks of the day.

As Daddy’s arrival drew near, I pulled her sister aside and gave her a little pep talk about being supportive and focusing on Mookie during her recitation(since she had heard the practicing all week, I worried she might be lacking in enthusisasm when the real time came).  Then she surprised me.

With a playful smile she said, “I’m not a part of audience, I’ll be doing something else, just wait and see.”

I was stumped.  Then I started noticing some things. The Boy was missing. Sounds from the rehearsal room told me he was with the actress.  

“Do you know where my flashlight is?  And do I have some dark clothes, like that might blend into darkness?” Jelly Bean asked.

The Boy came out holding pink gloves, “Help.”

Mookie, in the hours I had gotten busy, had recruited stagehands!  For the next hour, the actress, the director, and the spotlight technician busied themselves with preparation.  There was a stage to be set, lighting to be adjusted, proper backstage attire to found.  Hair to be fixed, costumes to be approved, and of course a few more run throughs.

Finally, when the black cloth was positioned for a stage, and the lightning was just so, the performance began.

With a 4 year old announcer and director, a 6 year old operating the spotlight, and an 8 year old giving the performance of a lifetime, you can imagine it was quite a show.

Later that night, thinking back on the “simple assignment”, I loved how it had turned into to something that so suited the individual talents of each of the kids. And how it had turned in to a family affair.

Afterward, Mookie and I sat on the couch together.  ”At first when you told me I had to memorize a poem I thought ‘Boring’ but then this whole thing turned into real theater!”

And so it was.

A simple assignment.  With a lot of heart.

Norman Rockwell, Edgar Degas, Grandma Moses.  These are a few of the artists we’ve met this year since adding Picture Study to our learning time.  Picture Study is a Charlotte Mason inspired idea.  

At our house, picture study looks like this.  

• I pick an artist and find a nice large book containing his/her paintings from the library.
• Each week, for six weeks, we look at one piece of art from the book.  I keep it displayed prominently in our family room, so that as we pass by it seeps into our memory.  
• Sometime during the week, I take the book down and we look at the painting together.  We spend five minutes trying to remember as many things as we can about the painting and then I close the book.  Everyone takes turn sharing what they remember.  We open the book and see how we did and add elements we might have forgotten.  
• Like the click of camera, now we have added the painting to the gallery in our mind.
• If I find interesting books or videos about the artist, we add those as well.
• Every 6 weeks, we start a new artist.

This takes us up about 10 to 15 minutes in our whole week, and already we have begun building a gallery of great works.

This week, I felt inspired by another element of picture study added by this family.

I confess, I was nervous about M and J’s reactions.  ”I can’t draw that, ” seemed the least of the worries.  Falling to the floor and giving up completely because they couldn’t BE the artist was more of my concern.

So last night I showed the girls samples from the blog above and we talked about how we weren’t trying for perfect and all of our sketches would look different.

Today we tried it and it went great!  I know that having this positive experience is going to make the next time that much more fun and enthusiastic.  Here are the girl’s work side by side with our artist’s painting of the week, A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Marc Chagall.

In my secret heart of hearts, I’m an “unschooler”.  For those of you who may not know that term, it’s describes a philosophy behind homeschooling that means learning by what the day brings and where your children’s interests take you rather than with a stack of school books and a lesson plan.

We move in and out of various philosophies.  This year, as I saw pregnancy and baby ahead, I leaned much more toward lists and plans and official curriculum to make sure school was happening even on the low days.  Last year, we had many fancy free days of learning through trips to the zoo and hands on projects.  The unschooling approach I usually save for the days when all plans escape us due to sickness, exhaustion, or undeniably great weather, it’s when I look back at the day and see their make-believe games and the cooking we did together,wipe my brow and say, “See, the were still learning”.

There are major influences that build up my fear of unschooling more of our days.  Expectations from family and non-homeschooling friends, the comparative standards of our school system, the neighbors who might report me for neglecting my children’s “proper” education, and then my own etched memories of conventional school all group together to form a strong voice.  Despite that, a deeper voice tells me there is a better way to learn than at a table.

This past week we came to a day that I lacked good judgement and scheduled dentist appointments(for 3 children), swim lessons(for 3 children) and an night excursion for myself.  School, as the mainstream think of it, just couldn’t happen for this mom to stay sane.  So between getting teeth cleaned and putting on bathing suits the children went outside in a perfectly breezy spring day for four and half hours.  

Then spent most of those hours drawing.  

With an enthusiasm far beyond their regular art lessons(even though we all like those too)  they drew still life, self-portraits, and one another.  Later, as we traveled in the car we listened to the story of Hudson Taylor, the missionary to china.  We didn’t have to call it history or Bible Time to be just that.

That day was a day their minds were wide open.  Joyful.  Learning without calling it “school” and all the better for it.