“Squishy, you can’t open your sister’s mints.”
“You can’t pour the gallon of milk by yourself.”
“Yes, you have to stay buckled in your carseat.”
“Don’t hit your 11 year old sister.”
“Don’t scream when I tell you ‘no’.”
“No you can’t use the computer.”
“Your baby did not tell you to play with the scrub brush in the toilet.”
“No, you can not put hydrocortisone cream on by yourself.”
We’re in the season of The-Three-Year-Old.
In theory it seems like my fourth 3 year old would be easier than my first. In theory.
In reality my first three year old only had me as her authority during the day. Squishy, on the other hand, has one Mama authority multiplied by three brothers and sisters telling her “no, don’t touch my playmobiles” or “no, don’t touch the tv controller” all day long. Which leads to screaming.
With my first, I had one focus and that was her heart. With Squishy, I’m homeschooling three students and teaching multiple hearts.
Plus, the siblings perfrom all of the forbidden acts-computer time, fixing their own food, playing with off-limit toys, dangling independence in front of her growing heart.
Four-thirty arrives and I’m done. D-O-N-E.
(Did I mention she hasn’t been napping? And I suddenly feel an urgent need for a nap myself?)
But it’s still two hours before help arrives in the form of Mr. Darcy, super-father and husband.
That’s when I abandon the list in my head that remains unchecked next to “afternoon chores” and “start dinner”.
Instead I collect my sketchbook, art supplies, and the three year old (aka, One-Who-Is-Currently-A-Danger-To-Herself-and-Others) and head outside.
The chaos dims.
Pen and paint bring rhythm and order to my page.
And seeps into my heart.
And until the call of household duties rises above the calming tune of “me” time, I make art.
And so does she.
God shaped my heart to find peace and joy through creativity.
Some mamas find their peace when they go to the Y for an hour to exercise by themselves.
What about you? How did God make your heart? If you don’t know, give yourself permission to find out. Your check-off list will be there when you get back.